norms - west hollywood , ca



norms is a complete throwback . in the middle of la cienega boulevard , this relic from the mid sixties is so close to the beverly center , that you can in fact smell the silcone hardening in the sun . the only morally redeemong thing amongst the purveyors of the p . o . s. h . lifestlye , is the strip club across the street from norms . open seven days a week by popular demand , you better be in the mood to sit and wait and be stared at as soon as ya walk in . this place gets all sorts . old school hollywood , bikers , young thugs , excellent beautiful artistic types , and those whose only claim to fame is that three years ago willard scott welcomed them into the " century club " .

i gave up waiting and sat at the counter . normally i dont mind , i know the red carpet isnt always handy on a busy day . but at norms , the counter ain't the place to be . sure , you get to eye the asian girl behind the counter , as she scoops butter with an ice cream scoop . but that scene just gets killed when you see the same girl get pummeled by the brawny cook , and the nice asian girl lands on all fours with butter and pancakes all over . after trying to get that out of my mind , i ordered the usual .

after explaining to the alternate waitress what " the usual " is , she smiled , and gave my order to the cook .
coffee came at a regular pace , the miniature creamer buckets were opened and all was ok .

chicken fried steak was suspiciously well formed . though it appeared to be some sort of organic meat , i just had a funny feeling about this one. taste was adequate but the gravy was obviously of the packet variety .

potatoes here pass for " home fried potatoes " in the greater fried breakfast potato industry of southern california . i personally believe that this an industry that needs regulation more than any other . cause the bland , lightly browned potato pieces they're pushin these days just don't cut it .

strangely enough , the eggs were perfectly mediumly done and even the english muffin was toasted well and served with orange marmalade , the comdiment of champions .

total score out of a perfect five mishaco's :